I approached Mike Piazza for his views on the sweep by the Nationals...but...

Brad Barr-USA TODAY Sports

Trevor Borough Council is a disgraced former NY Met employment statistic trying to forge his way as a sports reporter. He was told to get an interview with Mike Piazza. Instead he got this.

Trevor: So here we are off the back of being swept by the Nationals in our house to start the season. These are not the best of times, but are they, the worst of times? Joining me today to discuss the series, is page 57 of Mike Piazza's book, "Long Shot". How are you today?

p57 of Mike Piazza's book, "Long Shot": My stomach had me on the run. I told my mom that I needed some familiar food.

Trevor: Hmm, how were you able to treat it? The concession stands at Citi Field are not very forgiving on that type of constitution.

p57 of Mike Piazza's book, "Long Shot": dad came to visit. He smuggled me in some peanut butter and Carnation Instant Breakfast.

Trevor: Well glad to hear it Mike. What did you think of todays game and the series as a whole?

p57 of Mike Piazza's book, "Long Shot": Jesus Christ! How do you eat this shit?

Trevor: Indeed that's what all Mets fans are thinking so far. What do you think could fix the mess that the team is in currently?

p57 of Mike Piazza's book, "Long Shot": ...a few weekends at the Jaragua Hotel in Santo Domingo.

Trevor: Ok. So you think the Mets could do with a break? What makes you say that?

p57 of Mike Piazza's book, "Long Shot": We'd hit the town and drink Presidente beer.

Trevor: How about the food there?

p57 of Mike Piazza's book, "Long Shot": We'd partake liberally of the pasta, and the big bottles of Coke you could buy for a dime.

Trevor: How about the NY Met fans? What's different today from the days when you were playing?

p57 of Mike Piazza's book, "Long Shot": They at least appreciated the effort I gave it.

Trevor: True Mike, you damn well should be in the Hall of Fame, and any decent writer knows it (I am not a decent writer but fuck even I know it), you gave it 100%, any other reason why you think maybe they are not putting you in there?

p57 of Mike Piazza's book, "Long Shot": My struggling attempts at Spanish.

Trevor: Si. Comprende. What do you think of Juan Lagares?

p57 of Mike Piazza's book, "Long Shot": Who is this guy?

Trevor: Err...Juan Lagares?

p57 of Mike Piazza's book, "Long Shot": He's going to be unbelieveable!

Trevor: And what of Jenrry Mejia? You first met him at camp a few years ago right?

p57 of Mike Piazza's book, "Long Shot":'s hard to imagine now, with his bald head, but at the time he had big fluffy hair - and yesterday he told me, "Yeah I remember you down there. We were all talking about 'Who is this gringo coming to play with us?'"

Trevor: Finally Mike, the bullpen performance yesterday. Whaddya say?

p57 of Mike Piazza's book, "Long Shot": In retrospect, the most amazing thing was that.

Mike Piazza, the best offensive catcher and Hall of Fame lock goddamn it I swear I will never read anything ever written by a BBWAA writer again if it does not happen, co-wrote p57 of 'Long Shot' with Lonnie Wheeler.

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