How to handle getting fired, Step 1: Praise your boss.
"I have nothing but respect for Sandy…" —Dave Hudgens [Capital New York]
Step 2: Subtly take a swipe at your boss’s boss.
"…and no doubt he will turn things around if he's allowed to." —Dave Hudgens [Capital New York]
Step 3: Not so subtly trash your boss’s boss.
"If they want a winner in that town, I would let the purse strings loose and let Sandy do what he wants to do." —Dave Hudgens [Capital New York]
Step 4: Trash your consumers.
"I think the fans are really tough on the guys at home. How can you boo Curtis Granderson? They have no idea how hard this guy works and how he goes about doing his business ... it’s tougher at home to play than it is on the road, there’s no doubt about it." —Dave Hudgens [ESPN]
Step 5: Trash non-direct fellow employees of your company.
"I'm glad I don't have to listen to [the SNY braodcase team] anymore. I just shake my head at the old-school guys that have it all figured out. Go up there and swing the bat. Well what do you want to swing at? It just confounds me. It's just hilarious, really." —Dave Hudgens [Newsday]
Step 6: No, really, go into detail about what bothers you about your former co-workers.
"It’s not so much what they said. It’s the constant negativity. The reason I hear it all the time is because when our team is in the field, I look at all of our at-bats on video. And the TV is always on. A lot of the hitters are up there too, a lot of the guys that aren’t playing. Everybody hears it. I’m not going to say it's any one thing, and I’ve got respect for those guys as players. No doubt. Keith Hernandez was a great player, a Gold Glove guy, a World Series champion, on-the-cusp-of-the-Hall-of-Fame type of player. It’s just you don’t like to hear the negativity all the time. It gets into the fans. It’s just something that isn’t part of what I’m about." —Dave Hudgens [Newsday]
While I don’t know if I agree, I can’t fault Ron for sticking up for his buddy.
"If you look at Keith's career, Keith was the poster boy for what they do. He's already done it. These guys aspire to do it. I think that Keith is probably the best person to talk about how you get on base, but at the same time the aggressiveness with which you can do that. So I don't know anyone better to speak about it." —Ron Darling [Newsday]
Hmm this philosophy reminds me of someone…
"The philosophy has been working real well for us in the minor leagues. We’ve got guys now that are really being a lot more patient. We’re scoring more runs. Our on-base percentage went up the last two or three years. So everything has been working out pretty good." —Lamar Johnson [ESPN]
... there’s the closer, so pretty much the same approach as Hudgens.
"I’ve always taught pitch selection, but I just want my guys to be aggressive on their pitch." —Lamar Johnson [ESPN]
Oh good, I thought the offseason hinged on Farnsworth and Valverde getting 30 saves apiece.
"The short answer to that is no. Look, I take full responsibility for the results on the field with the payroll that we have and the choices that we’ve been able to make. Look, I expect whether we’re paying a guy $10 million or $500,000, that if we choose to have him on the team, he’s going to perform, and he’s going to have to perform to an expectation that we have. It doesn’t mean that we expect that every guy that we sign for $700,000 to have 30 saves. But we sign those players for a reason. We have expectations about what they can do. It doesn’t always work out." —Sandy Alderson [SI]
But what about the old adage…oh sorry, never mind.
"The old adage you have to spend money to make money, I don’t entirely believe that. Does it raise the probabilities? Yeah, it probably raises the probabilities somewhat. But it doesn’t ensure anything." —Sandy Alderson [SI]
Someone please keep Collins away from Mejia.
"As soon as I have the lead three days in a row in the ninth inning, I'd think about [throwing Mejia three days in a row]. Hopefully that can be soon." —Terry Collins [ESPN]
Don’t encourage TC.
"I think I can [pitch three days in a row]. I'm ready for it." —Jenrry Mejia [ESPN]
Seriously, don’t encourage him, you want to end up like Tim Byrdak?
"Ricky Bones asked me if I could throw two innings. I said, 'I can go three, four, five.' I mean, I'm ready for any situation. They want me to go two innings, I go out there and do my job. ... I'm ready for three or four days [in a row]." —Jenrry Mejia [ESPN]
To be fair, the vast majority of his fortune did come from endorsing ‘Vitamin Water’ which has no proof of being any better for you than any other flavored water drink, so it’s a pretty accurate statement.
"I'm a hustler not a damn ballplayer. LMAO." —50 Cent regarding his first pitch [ESPN]
I think I’m missing something here because shouldn't you be less relaxed knowing the disadvantages, you know what, probably best not to think about it.
"The advantage [of being a 27-year-old rookie] is that I’m probably more relaxed than some of the younger guys. [The disadvantage] is that I’ve got to produce or I can get sent down at any time. I’m taking this as that I’ve got a job to do ... that I’ve got to try to help this team win, right away." —Eric Campbell [ESPN]
My father would have said that I would still be in the big leagues in the morning, so why couldn't I wait to call then?
"The phone rings at 1:30 in the morning [when Eric called to let his parents know he made the big leagues.] I got in late that night and I didn't want to disturb Amy [Duke's wife and Eric's mom], so I was sleeping in another room. Amy comes in and says, 'You have to take this call.' I'm groggy. She says, 'No, you have to take it… There were tears." —Duke Campbell [The Day]
Well going 0-for-the-series against us helps, too.
"I didn’t get booed as much as I thought [I would]. There was a lot of cheering. So it was really nice." —Ike Davis [New York Post]
Baseball players are human, Exhibit A
"[Matt] Harvey set a huge standard, a high standard. A lot of people think everybody who comes up is just going to deal. But, I mean, it's not always like that, and people should know that. This is not an excuse for me. But everybody learns. Everybody has their troubles. Everybody has their high points and low points. "I know it's there because I'm human. I'm not a robot thinking it's never going to happen to me. It's there. But it's not messing with my mind." —Zack Wheeler [ESPN]
Baseball players are human, Exhibit B
"There was one on a curveball in the dirt, I kind of flinched back. It was a curveball to the left and it was kind of like the same thing. Right when he swung, I kind of fell straight back. It wasn’t even close to me, I guess. I just flinched." —Travis d’Arnaud [Binghamton Press]
What a rational take…
"Never even for a second [regarding if he would want to own The Mets.] It would be an endless series of headaches morning till night. The peak of being a fan is a hotdog and a beer and a seat at the game. There’s nothing above that. Nothing above it." —Jerry Seinfeld [The Star Ledger]
…but I was looking for someone to give me a hotter take.
"I would love to be general manager of the Mets. If Sandy would put his crap in boxes and get out of there now, I'd be happy to go there now. I texted my son after they lost one of the games this week: 'It is impossible to watch. It is impossible to watch. Just when you care about them as much as I do, it's hard to watch sometimes." —Chris Christie [The Star Ledger]