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This Week in Mets Quotes: The captain speaks, Bartolo Colon is a major league hitter

Lots of interesting, funny, idiotic, and insightful things were said by the Mets—and about them—recently. Here are some of our favorites.

Jake Roth-USA TODAY Sports

This can’t get any sadder...

"There's physical tests that I have to be run through that I have to pass and do well with, and I'm not there right now. They run me through the physical tests and I just flat out can't do it." -David Wright [ESPN]

...ouch, my heart.

"The biggest thing that the doctor continues to reiterate with me is you want to avoid surgery at all costs. And if that means being a little more conservative, then that means being a little more conservative, because we're not just talking about playing baseball. We're talking about walking and standing and being pain-free." -David Wright [ESPN]

Sorry doc, I prefer to listen to the opinions of random internet commentators.

"[David Wright] has excellent doctors both at Special Surgery taking care of him as well as Dr. [Robert] Watkins, who is a world-class spine surgeon. You have a great medical team taking care of him. So the expectation is with most players that there’s going to be a good track record of improving with conservative care." -Dr. Andrew Hecht, chief of spine surgery at The Mount Sinai Hospital and director of the spine center at the Icahn School of Medicine at Mount Sinai [ESPN]

Pretty sure those last two words negated the whole sentence.

"If I say [Dillon Gee] will be skipped his next turn, it’s a headline, so I’m not going to say so just yet." -Terry Collins [New York Post]

The 36-year-old continued, ‘certain weather, certain days of the week.’

"[Stiff necks] just happens. It's happened to me for years, even back in the early, early days in Minnesota. I don't know if it's certain hotels, certain pillows, certain beds." -Michael Cuddyer []

Being a Mets fan, I stopped reading after ‘My shoulder broke.’

"You know how when you have a fever, and you sweat, then finally it breaks and you feel amazing? My shoulder broke its fever." -Vic Black [Newday]

What’s ‘great stuff’ at this level then?

"[Noah Syndergaard] didn't locate the ball like he did before. As we know at this level, good stuff is great. But you have to put it where you want to." -Terry Collins [Newsday]

So, the BABIP Fairy is shining on you is the real difference?

"Because more balls are falling here than last year is the biggest difference, honestly. If you ask anybody in the front office how many balls I hit hard last year versus the outs I made, it was like it didn't add up. I was making a lot of hard outs. Balls just didn't really fall and go my way. The balls are falling more." -Gavin Cecchini [ESPN]

I mean it’s not like the commissioner is laughing at him…

"[Bartolo Colon] knows people are laughing at him when he hits and does all the other things. I think he took it a little personal. ‘Hey, look, I’m a baseball player and need to show it.’ He has taken the offensive side seriously." -Terry Collins [New York Times]

…oh, never mind.

"Not having National League pitchers hit would deprive us of the entertainment that Bartolo Colon has given us this year. It's been a great source of entertainment for me. I don't know about for the rest of you, but it has been for me." -Rob Manfred [ESPN]

Love Colon? Love Colon.

"[Colon] says he doesn’t have to embarrass himself and doesn’t have to hear people talking about his hitting approach, bad approach. Now he can actually go in there and do something." -Bullpen coach Ricky Bones [New York Times]

I need an ‘80s-style’ training montage of Colon practicing hitting.

"There’s days where I tell [Colon], ‘Hey, you don’t need to hit today’ And he says, ‘No, I want to hit.’" -Assistant hitting coach Pat Roessler [New York Times]

I said the same thing about turning my double into a triple, although I was at Wendy’s.

"No shot." -Bartolo Colon [New York Times]

I mean, if there’s one guy that knows what an ideal physical appearance is.

"I think what people don’t see is how much of an athlete [Colon] is. He’s got his physical appearance, which is less than ideal, but obviously he knows what he’s doing out there. He’s done it for a really long time." -Anthony Recker [New York Times]

I don’t think I’ve ever seen a sentence with the words ‘savvy’ and ‘Collins’ that didn’t use sarcasm font.

"[Standing ovations are] the ultimate fan validation. It’s incredible when the fans get the power of a moment like that. After all the trials and tribulations of that season, they realized the significance and it all came together. That was savvy of Collins to [let Syndergaard get one out in the 8th]. It connects you with the fans. You’re going to have moments where you’re terrible. It’s great to capture a moment where you are celebrating. It happened for me 16 years ago and it stayed with me for sure." -Doug Glanville [ESPN]

Maybe Niese and Gee should think about growing out their hair to get some of that confidence Black is talking about.

"[Jacob deGrom’s] one of the best young pitchers in our league. Last year, what he did, Rookie of the Year, he's pitching with a lot of confidence. Tonight, he was rolling. He was on." -Bud Black []

Got to like his ‘can do’ attitude.

"Other than that, it's just staying with what I always do. Sometimes you can lose a little bit of focus out there. It's always about staying in the game and taking it one pitch at a time. And it all starts during BP. Sometimes, with 142 games, me playing every day, it's really easy to take BP for granted and go out there and just go through the motions. But that's when your day starts. You can always get better taking live fungoes or live balls off the bat during BP, reading balls off the bat. I'm always trying to get better and be the best player I can be." -Gavin Cecchini [ESPN]

SiteBot FacePalm of the Week

"Call me crazy and I know most of you will…but I would rather see some journeyman like Duane Below pitch than Niese and Gee" LSUtoast

AA Quote of the Week

"It is too early but something about Below and Colon and #2 could be really funny." LSUtoast

"Double header double loss? Colon blown out, Below a mess." IPA