After myrick4gm had his post crossed out because of rogue HTML coding, he was understandably angry. Who pulled such a stunt? Obviously, it was anonymous, with whom myrick4gm was in the middle of a semi-heated debate. Anonymous can deny it all he wants, but we know the truth; we know that he's some kind of mean-spirited gremlin that crosses out all of the posts he doesn't like. Anonymous!
At All Costs!
Shortly after Aroldis Chapman defected from Cuba and was being courted by MLB teams, poster MLB DW advocated that the Mets sign the Cuban lefty. Multiple times. And with much boisterousness. Poster metsguy234 summed up his enthusiasm as "Sign Aroldis Chapman 'At All Costs!'" The term relates to how badly one thinks the team should sign a player: When it should do so "at all costs!" the player is a no-brainer who is going to be awesome (or horrible, if the phrase is used sarcastically).
BABIP Fairy (Melanie Iglesias)
At some point after Jason Pridie went west and took the BABIP Goddess with him, Russ discovered Melanie Iglesias. Born in Brooklyn, she's a Mets fan, and has a website dedicated to showing her BABIP off.
BABIP Goddess (Melanie Cruz)
After informing us that "at age 27, Mets center fielder Jason Pridie has played in 943 games in the minors and just 18 in the majors," Fox Sports also let us know that "his girlfriend of four-and-a-half years, Bianca Cruz, is a former third baseman for the Arizona State softball team." Astromets implored us to Google her, which we all promptly began doing. Russ the sleuth shared this with us, and we all jumped on the proverbial Bianca Cruz bandwagon. In the 05/07/11 Mets-Dodgers gamethread, letsgomets31 had an epiphany after seeing a picture of hers that fxcarden posted. His epiphany was that she was the Goddess of BABIP. Others were receptive to the good news, and accepted Bianca Cruz into their pants/hearts.
In his very first post here at Amazin' Avenue, Olay opined about David Wright, and the impact that the Wilpons have had on him, his Mets career, and the Mets in general. Olay concluded that "the Wilpons are just not Baseball savoy at all." "Savoy," we concluded, is similar to being savvy, but in a cooler, more sublime way. TKFJ, for example, noted that Brian Sabean is not baseball savoy.
Baseball savoy is the antonym of "Fem."
After a fourth-place finish because of player ineptitude and a massive amount of injuries to key players, the Mets were key to retool. Outfielder Jason Bay was coming off of a very successful season with the Red Sox, and Omar Minaya decided that Bay would be his project for the winter. Reportedly, while the team was keen on signing Bay, the free agent outfielder did not reciprocate the Mets' interest. According to analyst Peter Gammons on WEEI radio in Boston, Jason Bay would "rather be playing in Beirut than Queens."
Biting And Cutting Edge Sarcasm
Lupojohn3, as many may remember, had a keyboard that did not allow him to type the "shift" key, and addressed everyone by their username. He also had his entire family except for his mother "wiped out" during the Japanese tsunami of 2011. That aside, he may be best remembered for his hard, biting sarcasm. After a lot of back-and-forth, Steve Schreiber referred to it as "biting and cutting edge sarcasm," which has stuck.
Biting and cutting edge sarcasm often causes those who read it to fall into the Sarchasm.
Outside of Traid, #BlameBeltran is probably the most prolifically used Amazin' Avenue meme outside of Amazin' Avenue itself. Born in the fertile minds of James Kannengeiser and Will Davidian in the summer of 2010, #BlameBeltran was used in an ironic fashion to mock the misguided anger projected onto Carlos Beltran by a large segment of the Mets fan community for having an underwhelming 2005 season, striking out against Adam Wainwright in Game Seven of the NLCS, "not playing hard," and other criticisms that miss the broader picture. Got a problem? Regardless of the situation, #BlameBeltran! The Mets failed to score? #BlameBeltran! Got a nose job but don't have the money to pay the bill? #BlameBeltran! An ironic hashtag ceases to be ironic? #BlameBeltran!
In the end, as blamebeltran.com aptly states: 2.7, 7.9, 5.5, 7.6, 3.0, 0.8, 4.7
Blue Collar Blast
For years, Daniel Murphy has been lauded for his metaphysical grission by baseball personalities and fans alike. Former college coach Terry Alexander went as far as calling Murphy "Joe Lunchpail" because of his "blue collar" work ethic and personality. On Opening Day 2009, after James Kannengeiser described a Murphy strikeout as a "lunchpail at-bat," Joe Sokolowski retorted that a home run would make up for any strikeouts he incurred that day, calling them "blue collar blasts." The phrase stuck, and Murphy has been hitting blue collar blasts, blue collar bloops, and blue collar everything else ever since.
When a post is rec'd enough times, it becomes blue, so that readers' eyes are immediately drawn to the post. Occasionally, multiple posts in a conversation will be rec'd. When this occurs, it is a "bluenami," an avalanche of blue. This thread is a massive example of a bluenami gone wild.
In late 2011, a user by the name of brodude joined Amazin' Avenue. He was mostly active in gamethreads in September/October 2011 and early 2012, and quickly became known for his opinion that, in short, the Mets could do nothing right, ever, in very typical LOLMets fashion. The AA Community eventually tired of Brodude's trolling, and people simply began responding to his sky-is-falling posts with "Bro," "Dude," and "Brodude," in a play off of his username emulating surfer talk. The practice stuck, and "Bro," "Dude," and "Brodude" are often sarcastic responses to posts that seem to be overt troll posts, particularly when they are ripe with outdated baseball platitudes. Interestingly enough, though trolling, brodude was the first person prescient enough to realize that a no-hitter was going to be thrown on June 1, 2012. Unfortunately, he did not have enough foresight to realize that the Mets would be the team to throw the no-hitter, not the team to be no-hit. This is where brodude gained the most notoriety (and, seemingly, the last time he posted at Amazin' Avenue).
Carl Crawford Money
In May 2011, Mets owner Fred Wilpon sat down with Jeffrey Toobin for an interview for The New Yorker. Wilpon was under the assumption that portions of the interview were off the record and, as a result, he was quite candid. The interview covered various topics, from Citi Field and Bernie Madoff to more topical issues at the time, such as the state of the team. During the interview, part of which took place during a Mets game, Jose Reyes came up to bat. "He thinks he's going to get Carl Crawford money," Wilpon said, regarding Reyes and his impending free agency. "He's had everything wrong with him. He won't get it." "Carl Crawford money" is a euphemism for something that is not worth as much as it is.
In a thread discussing Carlos Beltran and how he was undervalued and underappreciated by most, Phightin Phils! let us know that if the Mets played well in September and October, then we'd be able to talk. He then ended his comment by quoting Chase Utley (mostly): "WORLD PHUCKIN' CHAMPTIONS." A "chamption" has gone on to represent a fail in a sarcastic way.
David Wright Is A Coward/Cowards
In a FanPost made by Guy Allen Davis, in which he argued that David Wright would be a good trade candidate, Brian Singer commented that Wright was "as colorless as athletes come" and that he should have been opening his mouth and complaining, instead of "simply [shutting up] and effectively [endorsing] what the Wilpons have done to the team." In short, David Wright was a coward and we at Amazin' Avenue should not be endorsing cowardice.
Shortly after R.A. Dickey was signed to a minor league contract in early 2010, the puns began. Then Adam Halverson created the world's first Dickeyface: HOME COOKIN' WITH R.A. DICKEY "WHO WANTS BAAAAAAAAAAAACOOOOOON!?!?!?" Then came a multitude of Dickeyfaces, even prompting an official Amazin' Avenue Dickeyface Contest. (The winner of the first Dickeyface contest in 2010 was Steve Schreiber with his submission "Dickeyface," and the winner of the second Dickeyface contest in 2012 was bjk3047, with his submission "Jays"). Making Dickeyfacing things even better is the fact that R.A. Dickey (and his mom) himself enjoys them. When Jonah Keri interviewed the Cy Young winner on Keri's Grantland Podcast, he mentioned the Dickeyface phenomenon, to which R.A. responded, "I do know what it is and my mom keeps me abreast of her favorite, you know, the transposed face on the great pictures. She sends me her favorites from time to time and I have a few of my own. I am aware of it and I commend all the people who participate."
Late in the 2012 season, reports emerged that the Mets were apparently unhappy with Ike Davis because of his propensity at the time to stay up late and party. This led to speculation as to what exactly was going on during his staying up late and partying, and from this speculation emerged Drunk Ike, whose alcohol-fueled antics put Stone Cold Steve Austin to shame.
Ford's partnership with spokesman Derek Jeter culminated in various commercials in which the Yankees shortstop drives around the city with pedestrians commenting on his "Edge," sly doubletalk for the car he was driving (Ford Edge) and for the qualities that he possesses that make him an elite baseball player. To have an "edge" is to have something that sets you apart from other ballplayers; when used sarcastically, it is usually a negative quality.
In the September 2010 "Who do we blame it on this year?" Fanshot, user Mookes7 blamed Omar Minaya for, among other things, "the sight of Luis Castillo's fat face." As a random insult against a player who wasn't producing as much as you like, it was passable. Fast forward to 01/25/11 Applesauce, when he once again commented on Castillo and his apparently fat face. In "The Real 'Luis Castillo Disconnect'" thread, Mookes7 explained why he disliked Castillo so much: among other reasons, because he had a fat face. In some excellent circular logic, his fat face mattered, because he had a fat face, and apparently fat faces made for bad baseball players (ignoring Babe Ruth, David Ortiz, Miguel Cabrera, CC Sabathia, and every other player in the history of baseball who was both chubby and a not bad player). Being a "fat face" has come to mean simply being a bad person.
During the R.A. Dickey trade talks, jensan from Bluebird Banter came over to shoot the breeze with us. As a Blue Jays fan, he had a perspective and knowledge about the Blue Jays that we at Amazin' Avenue, being Mets fans, did not have. jensan suggested that, in exchange for Dickey, it would be a fair deal if the Mets received J.P. Arencibia, Rajai Davis, and one of Steve Delabar or Brad Lincoln, on the basis that it would provide the Mets with a cost-controlled catcher, a leadoff hitter and defensive outfielder, and a cost-controlled setup man. Evan_S countered, saying that the Blue Jays should trade Anthony Gose, Travis d'Arnaud, Noah Syndergaard, and Jose Reyes, and that all of Reyes's contract should be paid for, and that in April, Dickey should come back and pitch for the Mets. jensan thought that a laughable deal, and Evan let him know that his proposed deal was just about as fair as jensan's. At that point, jensan let Evan, and the rest of AA, know that "fair" is "a very fem expression," and that baseball is a business. psiogen, for one, was mortified, screaming into the night, "Oh god, not fem, anything but fem."
Fem is the antonym of baseball savoy.
Shortly after Jeff Francoeur was traded to the Mets in exchange for fellow outfielder Ryan Church, Amazin' Avenue exploded in reaction. Within a few days, articles exploring the trade from virtually every angle were written, FanShots and FanPosts about the trade were published, and user commentary on unrelated topics regularly drifted to the trade. Everything culminated with Francoeur Avenue, "A blog all about the grittiest player on the Mets, Jeff Francoeur," created by commenter Aidan Gibson.
Freakystyley was a community member who regularly posted in gamethreads, and of note, regularly posted Spiderman memes (for those of you unfamiliar, know your meme). Without fail, when something bad happened, he would post a picture of Spiderman accompanied by the text "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU" (again, for those unfamiliar, know your meme). At the time, freakystyley aggravated a lot of people with his Spiderman posts, but time heals all wounds. After some time had passed without him posting, people began looking back on those posts fondly. To wit, when something bad happens, people often exclaim "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU," with or without the accompanying image.
James Kannengeiser has done many great things for the Amazin' Avenue community over the years, and perhaps one of his greatest acts was introducing us to "The Endless Debate," a video created by Chris from TheFightins.com. About 45 seconds into the video, "Non-Sabermetrics Guy" said, "Mike Missanelli said [Ryan Howard] is the preeminent power hitter in the league, and I called up and agreed with him. He agreed that I agreed with him. It was fucking legit." AA commenter astromets misinterpreted the robotic, computerized voice of "Non-Sabermetrics Guy" as saying "fucking logic" instead of "fucking legit." As more and more community members viewed the video in the following couple of days, "fucking logic" caught on. It generally means to emphatically agree with something, though context determines whether the agreement is genuine or sarcastic.
On May 16, 2008, reporters interviewed Billy Wagner after a 1-0 loss to the Nationals. "Can somebody tell me why the fucking closer's being interviewed and I didn't even play?" Wagner asked. Wagner, who indeed didn't play, was angry that other members of the team—members of the team that actually played in the game, and had an impact on how it turned out—had already left the clubhouse without talking to the media. Certain players not wanting to engage with the media was nothing new at the time. Paul Lo Duca, while he was with the Mets, mentioned that "Some of these guys have to start talking." Wagner was a bit less diplomatic, stating bluntly, in his own charming way, "Why they're over there not getting interviewed? I get it. They're gone. Fucking shocker." As a phrase, "fucking shocker" is used as deadpan to denote something obvious and not particularly shocking.
Venerable Amazin' Avenue poster fxcarden has an alter ego: JeromefromManhattan. Jerome, much like his WFAN counterpart, was prone to rants, misspellings, and getting his facts wrong. As the 2011 season progressed, fxcarden was unable to comprehend the suck he was witnessing, and his alter ego began superimposing itself over his persona. The result? Memorable rants during or after gamethreads. Adam Halverson was kind enough to record all of these rants in two collector box sets: Volume I (2011) and Volume II (2012).
In June 2009, in Jerry Manuel's introductory press conference as Mets manager, he claimed that the Mets were "gangstas on the field." Days later, when he was asked what he discussed with Jose Reyes—who threw an angry fit after being pulled from a game as an injury precaution—Manuel said, "I told him the next time he does that, I'm going to get my blade out and cut him, right on the field. Hey, I'm a gangsta now. You go gangsta on me, I'm gonna have to get you now." Perhaps what Manuel is best known for off-the-field, "gangsta" has come to symbolize something that is stupid, in an ironically Mets way.
Gangsta is related to being snakebitten and LOLMets.
During the 06/22/2010 Mets-Tigers gamethread, fxcarden mentioned that "the sky [had] gone from black to green," commenting about the weather. metsguy234 replied that he was tripping, something on which Michkin and FX agreed. What began as a discussion about the weather morphed into a discussion about dropping acid. "Green skies" has become a euphemism for being in an altered state of consciousness, either through ingesting a substance that has that side effect, or by watching the Mets.
When a post is rec'd enough times, it becomes green, so that readers' eyes are immediately drawn to the post. Occasionally, multiple posts in a conversation will be rec'd. When this occurs, it is a "greenvalanche," an avalanche of green. This thread is a massive example of a greenvalanche gone wild.
On September 6, 2011, Amazin' Avenue was punked by DWRIGHT5RULES, an established poster posting anonymously as "Larry from Staten Island," a caricature of a "typical" front-running sports fan. After responses were universally negative (with most realizing the post was a troll job in good humor), Larry was upset that everyone was ganging up on him. He was mad, and he had a name for it: GROOPTHINK. GROOPTHINK occurs when all of Amazin' Avenue experiences some kind of mind meld and acts as one. Coincidentally or not, this typically happens when someone posts something universally ridiculed and/or stupid.
Grission.com has all the details.
Gut Check Time
According to the dictionary, "gut check time" is a "test of one's nerve, courage, or determination" during a certain period of time. Used in the context of sports, it is when a team has to put up or shut up in order to maintain their championship dreams. In the world of centerpede 101, June 1 to June 14 is known as "Gut Check Time." June 15 to June 30 is known as "Gut Check Time Pt. 2."
In 2006 and 2007, it looked as if starting pitcher John Maine was going to have a solid career as a middle-of-the-rotation pitcher. But after 2007, the right-hander was never the same, as various injuries derailed his young pitching career. Maine threw 140 semi-effective innings in 2008, but would never again come close to being a halfway decent pitcher. He pitched his last game as a Met on May 20, 2008; after five pitches, Jerry Manuel pulled him from the game, citing concern over his decreased velocity and shaky control after a poor bullpen session. After the game, pitching coach Dan Warthen called Maine "a habitual liar when it comes to his health."
He Has Everything Wrong With Him
In May 2011, Mets owner Fred Wilpon sat down with Jeffrey Toobin for an interview for The New Yorker. Wilpon was under the assumption that portions of the interview were off the record and, as a result, he was quite candid. The interview covered various topics, from Citi Field and Bernie Madoff to more topical issues at the time, such as the state of the team. During the interview, part of which took place during a Mets game, Jose Reyes came up to bat. "He thinks he's going to get Carl Crawford money," Wilpon said, regarding Reyes and his impending free agency. "He's had everything wrong with him. He won't get it." "Having everything wrong with something is usually used in a sarcastic manner."
Having everything wrong with something is related to being snakebitten, and is often one of the causes of LOLMets.
HELLO HELLO MR. WILPON
A long time ago, in an Amazin' Avenue far, far way, paperman519 was a very enthusiastic Mets fan—enthusiastic enough to type an entire FanPost in all capitals. He was convinced that if the Mets signed
Mannu Manny Ramirez, everything would be better. Paperman even went so far as to add a personal plea to the Wilpons to endorse his position: "HELLO HELLO MR WILPON," he yelled. HELLO HELLO MR. WILPON has since grown into an exasperated cry for action on the part of whomever you are looking to take action: HELLO HELLO MR. WILPON, HELLO HELLO MR. ALDERSON, HELLO HELLO MR. SIMON...
I Bet You Don't Even Drink Beer While You Watch Baseball
This began when WinstonSmith didn't like the fact that too many people at AA weren't as optimistic as he was in his FanPost, "You Think the Mets CANT contend next season?" Angry that Ogre39666 didn't share his optimism about 2011 because the 2011 projected stats didn't really bear that out, Winston informed Ogre that baseball is "Played by human beings. Who can have breakout years, good 'chemistry' and flat out LUCK. I like to assume this will happen, at least until the crippling reality sets in near the end of the season. You're boring. You probably don't even drink beer while you watch baseball." Mister Met lobbied that it become an AA insult, and it caught on.
I Have A Plan, And My Plan, I Like My Plan
On December 15, 2009, then-GM Omar Minaya sat down with reporters at Citi Field for a media event. The Q&A session was fairly generic and unforgettable until Minaya began talking specifically about the future of the club, and how he saw things panning out. "Everybody wants us to improve our club. The question is: when do we improve our club?" he asked reporters rhetorically. "It has to make sense when you make a move. I feel like, in past years, we have always found a way to improve our club, and I feel comfortable we will continue to work hard and, when it's all said and done, when we get to Opening Day, our team is going to be better than the way they ended last year...We have a plan, and our plan, I like our plan. We know who we've targeted, and we feel comfortable if we get our guys we're going to have a very good team on the field and we're going to be a team that will compete for our division and compete for the pennant." "Having a plan, and your plan, liking your plan" is generally used to denote the futility of a suggestion.
On September 6, 2011, Amazin' Avenue was punked by DWRIGHT5RULES, an established poster posting anonymously (Dandy Salderson) as "Larry from Staten Island," a caricature of a "typical" front-running sports fan. In his list, he mentioned one "Ike David"—seemingly a portmanteau of "Ike Davis" and "David Wright"—as the team's first baseman and third baseman, who hit third and sixth in the order. Ike David has since come to become a firs/third baseman who bats sixth/third, and is more or less a baseball übermensch.
ITBSOHL/In The Best Shape Of His Life
After repeated use in the media, James Kannengieser realized that "in the best shape of his life" was a horrible trope.
Irascible Ron/There Is No Book
On Monday, April 9, SNY announcer Ron Darling was asked a question about pitch counts, and specifically about the Nationals' plan to keep Stephen Strasburg on a pitch limit for the season. A former pitcher, Ron has always disliked pitch counts and he lets us know that. But, by the time he had finished, his treatise against pitch counts more closely resembled a rant. "There's no artificial way to keep a guy healthy. They did everything you're supposed to do in the minor leagues and what happened? He had Tommy John Surgery in his first year! I mean, please. I'm so sick of the people who never played in the suits—or they've got the white smocks on—saying, 'I know how to legislate when a guy is going to get hurt. And I give him these innings or that innings and he's definitely not going to get hurt.' They did everything you're supposed to do. They did it all by the book, and in his first year he gets a Tommy John. Way to go. Fantastic. Great job. Did everything by the book. There's no book! There is no book! I'm so sick of hearing it!" The fact that Ron may or may not have—based on his appearance that game—been slightly drunk, experiencing major jet lag, or both, only enhanced his rant. CTRefJay named this cranky Ron Darling "Irascible Ron," and the name stuck. Now, get off Ron's lawn.
I Want To Win Now, Not Three Years From Now
Back in 2010, some rookie pitcher with a nearly unintelligible name was making waves in spring training camp. As April got closer and closer, the debate turned to whether or not Jenrry Mejia was ready for the major leagues and, if so, what his role would be. That debate eventually coalesced into whether he would be a starter in the minor leagues or a reliever in the major leagues. Sam Page took to Twitter, and had a Twitter conversation with sideline reporter Kevin Burkhardt. Burkhardt's response has since become synonymous with short-sightedness.
In the 04/09/11 Mets-Nationals gamethread, user Gorfax was attempting to write something about Keith Hernandez, but experienced a keyboard fail with the force of 1,000 suns. Instead of writing anything meaningful, he simply wrote "Keith" five times. When he realized what happened and could apologize, Keith had already taken root. "Keith" was the first response his apology got, followed by "Keith," "Keith," "Keith," and a few more "Keiths." To Keith is to experience an electronic error of some kind that leads to the same comment being posted more than once. When someone Keiths, the only proper response is to simply say "Keith."
King of Spring Training (KoST)
Every year, without a hitch, a player absolutely dominates spring training. Sometimes it's a player that we all know is good and, other times, the player demonstrates an uncharacteristic amount of success. And, as it goes, sometimes the success carries on into the start of the regular season, while other times it doesn't. Regardless, the player that puts up the most eye-popping stats in spring training is crowned the King of Spring Training, or KoST, for the year.
Lightning God Omir Santos
Omir Santos will probably be remembered best for his home run over the Green Monster off of Jonathan Papelbon in May 2009. Omar Minaya, thinking that he caught lightning in a bottle, then traded away incumbent backup catcher Ramon Castro. Among the community here, Santos will probably be best remembered for being the God of Thunder, as depicted on this officially licensed MLB T-shirt:
On July 27, 2009, Omar Minaya held a press conference to discuss the firing of Tony Bernazard. For those of you who don't remember, Minaya hired Bernazard to be the Vice President of Player Development, a position he held until he was fired. Bernazard was involved in numerous eyebrow-raising incidents over the course of his tenure with the team, but in late July of 2009, he came under intense scrutiny when he removed his shirt and challenged numerous Binghamton Mets pitchers to fisticuffs.
During the press conference, Omar Minaya claimed that Adam Rubin, then a beat writer for the Daily News, had ulterior motives when he began reporting on what Bernazard did. Minaya claimed that Rubin's reports were designed to cast Bernazard in a bad light, so that Bernazard would be fired and replaced with...Adam Rubin! "Early in the process, early in the process, when the reports came out, I had to kind of tell myself, ‘Wow, these things are coming out,'" Minaya said. "And I say this because coming from Adam Rubin, okay, and Adam—you gotta understand this—Adam, for the past couple of years, has lobby for a player development position. He has lobby myself; he has lobby Tony. So when these things came out I was kind of a little bit, I had to think about it." The verb was adopted by the community—heavily. As I write this, there are 5,553 individual comments that involve lobbying in some way, and very few actually involve the room.
The Mets are not a perfectly run organization—let's get that out of the way first. No organization runs completely smoothly all the time, be it in baseball or otherwise. LOLMets is the nickname for the media narrative that paints the Mets as bunglers of anything and everything, from players all the way up to the owners, despite these bungles being, well, not unique.
- The Mets deferred Bobby Bonilla's salary and are still playing it? LOLMets, they can't do anything right. (Never mind that the Boston Red Sox did the same thing with Manny Ramirez's salary.)
- Fred Wilpon insulted David Wright? LOLMets, they can't do anything right. (Never mind that George Steinbrenner insulted Hideki Irabu, so LOLYanks should be in effect as well.)
- Francisco Rodriguez was arrested for assault? LOLMets, they can't do anything right. (Never mind that, in the same calendar year as K-Rod's arrest, an A's trainer was arrested for human trafficking, a Marlins player was arrested for identity fraud, an Indians player got in trouble for identity fraud, a San Francisco Giants player had a police file opened investigating possible sexual assault, a Reds pitcher was arrested for theft, a Tigers player was arrested for assaulting strangers, and multiple players were charged with DWIs.)
- The Mets didn't make the postseason in 2007? LOLMets, they can't do anything right. (Never mind that the 2011 Atlanta Braves and Boston Red Sox had equally embarrassing collapses at the end of the season.)
- The umpire blew the call, and Johan Santana's no-hitter is really a no-hitter*? LOLMets, they can't do anything right. (Never mind that at least six other no-hitters have had similarly blown calls.)
- Jose Reyes came out of a game to protect his batting title lead? LOLMets, they can't do anything right. (Never mind that the history of baseball is littered with examples of that.)
As Matthew Callan eloquently expressed in his article, "The Low Road Less Traveled," "the desire to mock the team trumps the need to report facts, or at least a nuanced portrayal of whatever situation the team is facing at the time."
Love the Mets. Love the Mets.
A long, long time ago, a user by the name of lovethemets used to post on Amazin' Avenue. His/her posts were more often than not short, but sweet. "Love the Mets" was mostly all that was ever said. Combined with no profile signature, the message looked thusly: "Love the Mets. lovethemets." "Love the Mets. Love the Mets" has become a rallying cry, of sorts.
When the Mets drafted Matt Harvey in 2010, the press release contained a glaring error: "METS SELECT RHP MATT HARVERY," the e-mail stated. Ever since, Matt Harvey has alternatively been known as Matt Harvery.
Note, this is an example of LOLMets.
ScottfromPeekskill, ever the world traveler, discovered the Metsband in 2011. Posting an animated GIF of Tommy Seebach from his music video covering the Shadows' song "Apache," Scott dubbed the campy singer and accompanying band the "Metsband." After wins or losses, Scott often sends us some accompanying lyrics from the Metsband's latest tour, describing the game. An example, from the June 23, 2013, games against the Phillies: "Fa Fa Fa Awful Series by the Umps! (God, You Guys Really Smell) Fa Fa Fa We Left Philly In the Dumps! (But In That Hole, How Could We Tell?)"
mr, baseball tim kurjen wanna be
Here at Amazin' Avenue, we love the Mets (Love the Mets) and love lohaus#54 (lohaus#54). Lohaus#54, on occasion, got a little testy, as you can see here. Someone is tearing apart the baseball argument that you're making? Whatever, they're just mr, baseball tim kurjen wanna bes.
Halflink123 was a poster, and on July 24, 2012, he wrote a FanPost entitled "The Mets Should Be Sellers." Because the FanPost did not meet the minimum quality/length requirement for FanPosts, he was informed that This Should Be A FanShot. After being informed of this, constructively and informally, he became "disappointed with the quality of the comments on Amazinavenue" and proceeded to lose his cool, culminating in a longer post in which he called other commenters "muppet heads." "Muppet heads" has since become part of Amazin' Avenue vernacular as a tongue-in-cheek insult.
With a runner on first and less than two outs, there are two preferable outcomes for the defense: The hitter grounds into a double play, or the pitcher strikes out the batter. DP or K. Dee-Pee-Or-Kay. DPRK. Democratic People's Republic of Korea. North Korea. In such situations, we root for North Korea, and when an optimal situation occurs, we give thanks to the Great Leader and North Korea. (Note: Amazin' Avenue does not condone the tyranny of North Korean leadership.)
Not A Superstar
In May 2011, Mets owner Fred Wilpon sat down with Jeffrey Toobin for an interview for The New Yorker. Wilpon was under the assumption that portions of the interview were off the record and, as a result, he was quite candid. The interview covered various topics, from Citi Field and Bernie Madoff to more topical issues at the time, such as the state of the team. During a part of the interview, which took place during a Mets game, David Wright came to bat. Regarding Wright, Wilpon said he is "A really good kid. A very good player. Not a superstar." Although Wright was slow to get out of the box that year (he would end the season hitting .254/.345/.427 in undoubtedly the worst season of his career), the third baseman had a career .305/.383/.516 batting line coming into the season, with 35.1 accrued fWAR, was a five-time MVP candidate, and was on pace to break numerous Mets offensive records in the coming year or so. When something is "not a superstar," we are ignoring its attractive parts, almost in an obtuse, stubbornly intentional way.
This began in the 08/24/11 Mets-Phillies gamethread when BrettDavies, a Braves fan, dropped by and said that he was rooting for the Mets to beat the Phillies that particular day. Brett's lack of using the subject line (after being asked multiple times to do so, and saying he'd comply) caused Crazy Nyce Dave to exasperatedly type, "Oh Brett." Shinjo is God wondered out loud if "Oh, Brett" could be a substitution for "Whenever someone is trying hard but keeps fucking up." Brett said a bunch of other stupid things in the thread, allowing us to test out "Oh, Brett." It worked, it felt good, and it stuck.
Halflink123 was a poster, and on July 24, 2012, he wrote a FanPost entitled "The Mets Should Be Sellers." Because the FanPost did not meet the minimum quality/length requirement for FanPosts, he was informed that This Should Be A FanShot. After being informed of this, constructively and informally, he became "disappointed with the quality of the comments on Amazinavenue" and proceeded to lose his cool, culminating in a longer post in which he called other commenters "peppered anguses." "Peppered angus" has since become part of Amazin' Avenue vernacular as a tongue-in-cheek insult.
"Sit your ass down" is a common refrain among baseball fans when a pitcher strikes a batter out. Given how high-brow we at Amazin' Avenue are, a hoity-toity alternative was created by The Nameless One early in the 2013 season: "Park Thy Grotesque Posterior," abbreviated to "PTGP". Alternatively, ScottfromPeekskill noticed that the abbreviation also stood for the "Piano Tuners Guild of the Philippines." The Piano Tuners Guild has become the unofficial "mascot" of the movement to exclaim PTGP in place of "sit your ass down," and other such comments.
During the 2010 season, R.A. Dickey opened the eyes of many. He revealed the glory that was his knuckleball to the masses, and turned doubters into believers. As Dickeypiscopalianism began to take root and grow at Amazin' Avenue—and the Mets community at large—orthodoxy began to form. "Praise Dickey" became established as the most acceptable proclamation to give homage to R.A., while "R.A.men" became established as the most acceptable response.
Back in 2010, isles732 noticed that a picture of a little puppy he had seen on the internet reminded him of first baseman Ike Davis. That puppy soon became "Ike Davis Dog," a picture of which was posted whenever Ike Davis did something good. Discussions about the Mets and dogs culminated in Puppy Avenue, a grand undertaking on the part of Steve Schreiber, in which users posted pictures of dogs (and sometimes other creatures) that remind them of Mets players and personnel. A simple idea that has been going strong for five years now.
"That was a lot of fun. You just keep pounding balls into the gap. The one thing you don't want to do is hit a home run. That's a rally killer."
Sam Page's Journalist Credentials
On March 30, 2011, Sam Page wrote an article in which he predicted that the Mets would win the NL Wild Card, finishing second in the NL East, and that the Phillies would finish fourth. This flew in the face of other sources, such as Sports Illustrated, which predicted that the Mets would go 74-88 and finish last in the division, while the Phillies would go 93-69 and finish first in the division. Never mind the fact that Sam Page picks the Mets to win the World Series every year, commenter ThnkGoodnessforHowieRose felt Sam's predictions were out of line. The commenter "politely" asked for Sam Page to hand over his "journalist credentials," feeling that someone who felt a team that featured a pitching staff of Roy Halladay, Roy Oswalt, Cole Hamels, and Cliff Lee would finish in fourth place didn't deserve to write editorials on the site. Brian Singer agreed, noting that "credible articles are written" by following certain prerequisites he recommended. Since then, when something someone says is questionable, Amazin' Avenue commenters often seek to revoke the writing credentials of the person who wrote it.
After seeing biting and cutting edge sarcasm, some people do not register it as sarcasm, and instead think that the poster is being serious. When this happens, the reader falls into the sarchasm.
In The Real "Luis Castillo Disconnect" thread, user Mookes7—who had a well-documented hatred for Luis Castillo—called the aging second baseman "the scummiest scum who ever scummed." "Scummy scum," as a result, is among the number one Amazin' Avenue go-to common insults.
Second Basemen Bat Second, First Basemen Bat Clean-Up
According to Jerryball, "Second basemen bat second" and "first basemen bat cleanup." Always.
Sir Dr. Brain Socks M.D.D.D.S.P.h.D. Esquire
In early 2009, Jerry Manuel alternated between committing to using reliever Brian Stokes and not calling for the right-hander for days at a time. Between April 28 and May 9, Stokes did not appear in a single game. Likewise, the same thing happened between May 18 to May 24, and June 5 to June 14. A puzzling modus operandi, to be sure. Even fellow pitcher Billy Wagner (soon to be traded to the Boston Red Sox) was puzzled, claiming that when he returned from surgery during the 2009 season, he would be "a Brian Stokes-type player [who] might pitch once a week." Sam Page did some investigative journalism, transcribing a page from Stokes's journal. With that, the legend of Brian Stokes was born.
It received further refinement when James Kannengieser waxed philosophical on Stokes, claiming that he is "some kind of abstraction. But there is no real Stokes—only an entity. Something illusory. And though he can hide his cold gaze and you can shake his hand and feel flesh gripping yours and maybe you can even sense that your lifestyles are probably comparable—Stokes simply is not there." User Michkin elaborated, "Brian Stokes Played is a persona by a collective group of what-should-have-beens the 2009 Mets talent. This spirit has no face, but briefly solidifies a body in high leverage situations (tie game, 8th inning, bases loaded, no outs), only to vanish after striking out 2 and inducing an infield pop up. There is some evidence this Socks person is a reincarnation of Ingmar Bergman or Carl Jung." Brian Stokes, better known through typos and auto-correct as Brain Socks, became everything to everyone: a mad scientist, a dentist, a lawyer, a senator, a time traveler. With Brain Socks, everything is possible.
Sitebot is the magical, semi-mythical guardian of Amazin' Avenue. Its existence was always wondered out loud and theorized about, but it never showed itself to the world until centerpede 1o1 penned his incredibly insightful post, entitled "centerpede 1o1." Sitebot made an appearance, and informed Amazin' Avenue readers that said FanPost "was created by a user just like you, except that this particular user has only basic motor skills and a third-grade education at his disposal. FanPosts such as these are a blight on this community and are only left intact so that they may serve as examples of what not to do." Sitebot has since made other appearances, in similar FanPosts, warning us. A Sitebot appearance is a rare thing, but when we get a sighting of it, it is wondrous and a moment to be cherished.
In May 2011, Mets owner Fred Wilpon sat down with Jeffrey Toobin for an interview for The New Yorker. Wilpon was under the assumption that portions of the interview were off the record and, as a result, he was quite candid. The interview covered various topics, from Citi Field and Bernie Madoff to more topical issues at the time, such as the state of the team. After disparaging various players, and generally bemoaning the Mets' fortunes since 2007, Wilpon remarked, "We're snakebitten, baby." To be "snakebitten" is a synonym for being unlucky.
During the 08/30/12 Mets-Phillies gamethread, ShinjoSpeed was engaging in trolly behavior, and was called out for it. Incensed, he let everyone at AA know that we were "pretty narrow minded," which meigs1414 paraphrased succinctly as being "snobs." As ShinjoSpeed continued to troll, and was mocked for trolling, he continued to insist that we at Amazin' Avenue were snobs and elitists. MetsFan4Decades eventually asked ShinjoSpeed if he even knew what the word "snob" meant, since he kept using it, and meigs was so kind as to search for and post the definition of "snob" for everyone to see. From this post, we learned that "snob" originally meant "shoemaker." "Shoemaker" has subsequently been inserted into AA vernacular, substituting for the terms "snob," "elitist," and anything else in that vein.
A "stat fraud" is someone who believes in the value of statistics. Johnsondc, WIN Method's self-proclaimed "number-two man," says that the motto of stat fraud is "lets throw numbers all over the place and see what sticks to the walls" and that "stats are fools gold when evaluating talent." The community has taken to tongue-in-cheek calling anyone who disproves the argument someone else makes with stat-based analysis a "stat fraud."
Stat fraud is the opposite of WIN Method
That's Poor, [Insert Name]. That's Poor
Jerry Manuel's tenure as Mets manager was many things, and we probably won't forget most of those things anytime soon. One of Jerry's defining moments happened even before he was with the Mets, when he was the manager of the White Sox. Frank Thomas had presented Manuel a letter from Thomas's doctor explaining that his recent foot surgery was not fully healed, and that the feared slugger might reaggravate the injury if he engaged in spring training wind sprints that day. Manuel's response? "That's poor, Frank. That's poor." If you ever see somebody mess up—in a way real or imagined—you know what that is? That's poor, [Insert Name]. That's poor."
There Are No Jokes On Amazin' Avenue
In the March 22, 2011 Applesauce thread, Putnan Prince said in jest that Oliver Perez should have a Lebron's "The Decision"-type TV special because of all of the interest in him. Lupojohn3 countered that this joke was immature, and that since other, more serious, things were happening all across the world, saying things like that were unwarranted. After much back-and-forth, Ogre39666 tried to understand the problem, asking, "So because something bad in the world happens no one anywhere can make a joke about an entirely unrelated thing?" to which lupojohn affirmed, saying, "what I mean is that no jokes here."
This Is A Bad Post
This Should Be A FanShot
Periodically, Amazin' Avenue is besieged by new posters writing FanPosts expressing their opinions on various aspects of the Mets. Often, "expressing their opinions" is generous, and their posts are more rambling rants than anything else. It's not that there is anything necessarily wrong with that, but like most places, Amazin' Avenue has standards. Unlike FanShots, which are "quick posts, links, images or videos from around the internet," FanPosts are supposed to be "substantial," "relevant," and "coherent." Various members of the community, upon seeing FanPosts that really should have been FanShots, began telling the original posters so—oftentimes with some snark. The issue became somewhat complicated, but from it, "This should be a FanShot" was born. In lieu of snark, people simply began telling the original posters that "This should be a FanShot" and leaving it at that. This should be a FanShot can be modified, as well, based on the situation. "This should be a book," for example, has been used to signify a FanPost that is long, and/or has gone above and beyond what is generally expected.
The origins of "Traid" are hard to pinpoint, because it's been used for a while, and used a lot. Traid can be used in a variety of ways to represent different things. It can be used, in the mold of a trollish WFAN/Metsblog caller/commenter, when calling for a trade that is generally seen as unrealistic. For example, calling for Clayton Kershaw to be traded to the Mets for Josh Thole and cash would be a traid. Similarly, irrationally calling for a Mets player to be traded would also be a traid (e.g., TRAID DAVID WRIGHT!) Finally, it can be used as a semi-sarcastic response to something that you don't necessarily like. Someone is saying that they think David Wright is a bad baseball player? Traid!
Troll Leverage Index
Because it was erased and the Internet didn't cache the posts, the magnificence that was the troll battle between Schmidtxc and SeanSchirmer—two regular posters who made good contributions to the website most of the time—has been lost to the sands of time. But believe me when I say that what happened on February 26, 2010, will live on as the biggest freakout in Amazin' Avenue history. While we don't have the actual text anymore, Michkin was kind enough to create an artistic representation of the exchange.
Vampires Or Something
On December 1, 2011, General Manager Sandy Alderson held a conference call with bloggers across the Internet. Luckily for us, a transcript was published for our perusal. kendynamo quickly noticed something that Alderson said: "The Walking Dead, by the way, was a Marine battalion in Vietnam. I don't know what it's referring to now, probably Vampires or something." kendynamo lobbied that anytime Sandy is confused, the answer probably is "vampires of something." It took.
WE WANT THE MANSION, NOT THE CONDO
A long time ago, in an Amazin' Avenue far, far away, paperman519 was a very enthusiastic Mets fan—enthusiastic enough to type an entire FanPost in all capitals. He was convinced that if the Mets signed
Mannu Manny Ramirez, everything would be better. At the time, Manny was one of the better-known, marquee free agents on the market. Paperman was tired of the Mets passing up on such players, in lieu of players he deemed inferior. Those marquee players were "mansions," while the inferior players were "condos." "WHY DO THE WILPONS...GO TO THE RICH NEIGHBORHOOD BUT NEVER BUY THE MANSION ON THE BIG BLOCK THEY BUY THAT CONDO AROUND THE CORNER FROM THE MANSION," he wondered out loud. "WE WANT THE MANSION, NOT THE CONDO" has since been embraced.
What the fuck is with these threads? People coming out of the woodwork to say the same things over and over again.
In the days and hours before the blockbuster trade that sent immortal knuckleballer R.A. Dickey to the Toronto Blue Jays for a handful of prospects, information and rumors were flying left and right. Everybody wanted to talk about them— Amazin' Avenue regulars, new posters, and posters from other SB Nation sites alike. To keep up with everything, as new information broke, AA posted a new story in the R.A. Dickey trade storystream. This, unfortunately, had the side effect of causing people to repeat themselves. A detail, or a thought, or an opinion that was posted in a story that was now buried underneath a newer story needed to be repeated to continue the discussion.
scubaeric noticed this, and wondered "what it was about any trade thread that brings out all the fucking trolls." The next day, flustered by the same thing being repeated by the same people, Ogre39666 demanded to know "What the fuck is with these threads? People coming out of the woodwork to say the same things over and over again." Noticing that what Ogre said himself was actually repeating what scubaeric said. Steve Sypa asked Ogre, "What the fuck is with these threads? People coming out of the woodwork to say the same things over and over again." After Joel Sherman tweeted something, and his tweet was reposted a few times, Sypa asked again, "What the fuck is with these threads? People coming out of the woodwork to say the same things over and over again." More and more people asked, and yet no answer was forthcoming. To this day, nobody knows what the fuck is with these threads. People coming out of the woodwork to say the same things over and over again...
In the 03/20/2015 gamethread, Terry_is_God shared to us the grandeur that is WIN Method baseball. In WIN Method's own words, the WIN Method is a talent evaluation method that "is dedicated to showing how meaningless individual stats for a baseball player are." WIN Method goes on to say that "[too] many fans have been taught that individual stats tell the ability of a player. These fans have lost sight (or never had the sight) to realize that it is not what a player achieves for himself that is important, but what the player helps his team achieve that matters" and that, if you use your common sense and the WIN Method philosophy, you will "be enlightened...see baseball in a new light and not get bogged down with meaningless individual stats." "WIN Method" has become a synonym for a baseball traditional truism that would likely be proven incorrect and/or misguided with more analysis.
WIN Method is the opposite of stat fraud
X has taken a hit with the expected and then return of Y
On July 10, 2010, Linda Cohn (who is some kind of media person) tweeted, "the Mets just 3 and 8 in their last 11 cuz the clubhouse chemistry has taken a hit with the expected & than return of Beltran and Castillo." The inanity and stupidity of the comment was immediately apparent, and it became a meme. Newton's Third Law of Motion (paraphrased) states that for every action, there is always an equal and opposite reaction. Whenever something goes wrong, it is because of "the expected and then return of something else."