So, Yoenis Cespedes showed up to spring training this morning driving a Polaris Slingshot. At least, that's what it's technically called. It looks like this:
Forget Harvey's Maserati. Cespedes rolled up in this beauty this morning. pic.twitter.com/tPKPM5uHQb— John Harper (@NYDNHarper) February 23, 2016
There's a lot to unpack here, so let's start with the basics. Yes, his number 52 is painted on the front of it like a stock car. It's also matte silver/grey with red accent, and the headlights look like they are going to swallow you alive when they're on. It is, by far, the most badass go kart you will ever see. While I wouldn't take it over a speed bump, or pothole, or even any sort of elevated surface for that matter, it is apparently street legal. Oh, it also has three wheels and a spoiler you'd probably find on a drift car.
So yes, that's awesome, but why does Yo drive this seemingly incredibly impractical vehicle? We have a few theories:
- Matt Harvey has the Dark Knight moniker all sewn up, and Cespedes bought him a Batmobile. He's only allowed to sit shotgun, though.
- He's an avid Mario Kart player, and now that he has the means he wants to start a real life league based on the games. Erik Goeddel's Waluigi kart will be there by the time intra-squad games start.
- Yo is using this $30,000 tricycle to relive his childhood as a sort of early mid-life crisis now that he's 30.
- With unpredictable Florida weather, he wanted a vehicle that could seemingly transform into a jet ski in a pinch.
- The Mets went to a state fair as part of a bonding activity, and Cespedes got beaten really badly by Curtis Granderson on the track. He has sworn vengeance at any cost, and will have his day in the sun.
- He wanted to get a Harley, but his contract doesn't allow him to own one. So instead, he got down to as few wheels as he was allowed and just ran with it.
- The fusion-core-powered-unicycle store won't have his order ready until mid-June.
- Yo's starring in a neo-noir remake of Tron, and the vehicle is for promotional purposes. In theaters this summer!
- He owes a significant debt to the Yakuza, and the only way he can repay it is to participate in their miniature street-racing tournaments.
- He's joined the We Follow Lucas Duda team and is really going all out on the "follow" part.
- Yoenis Cespedes can do whatever the hell he wants because he's Yoenis Cespedes.