Spring training games are just around the corner, and that means the return of Mets baseball. And the return of Mets baseball means the return of Keith Hernandez, who recently signed a contract extension with SNY.
To celebrate the Mets legend’s return to the booth, let’s revisit some of his most colorful, funny, and playfully offensive moments. He’s obviously had many more than those listed here. That said, we’ve been able to put together a pretty good list of those that made their way to the Internet. Enjoy!
He wasn’t talking about the hot dog
As Gary and Keith discuss the $25 "D-Bat" corn dogs sold at Chase Field, Keith’s eyes drift elsewhere.
Opening up some eyebrows
Keith has a Freudian slip involving Josh Satin and his thick, luscious eyebrows. For the 25 seconds after that, the booth goes silent, except for the laughter and chatter you can hear faintly in the background.
Bob Davidson’s sack
With an assist from Ron, Keith engages in some good old-fashioned teenage humor involving the male anatomy. This will become somewhat of a theme here.
Ernie Hays and his organ
Keith relays "an old Cardinal joke" involving the team’s former organist.
The wrong workout program
Gary and Keith marvel at a well-built man’s inability to open a water bottle. No Keith moment would be complete without a mildly sexist remark at the end, from which Gary attempts to save him.
Not intended for air
In this underrated gem, Hernandez makes a sarcastic remark about the Mets and their fans during the dark days of August 2011. Unfortunately for him, the mics weren’t supposed to catch the comment. Fortunately for us, they did.
Forget the infield
Keith gets stuck trying to pronounce Peter Bourjos’s name, throwing off his rundown of the Cardinals’ defense.
Only in San Francisco…
A security guard at AT&T Park finds himself in the middle of the action. Keith doesn’t understand what he's doing on the field.
Asleep at the switch
Keith is known to get impatient with extra-inning games. As a 2010 Mets-Giants game enters extra frames, Keith uses the opportunity to get some shut-eye.
In another extra-inning affair, Keith gets up to stretch his legs. These extra-inning games seem to take a toll on him.
Hernandez channels Zappa
Keith quotes lyrics to describe his feelings as a Mets-Marlins game enters the 11th inning.
It’s a sound we’ve heard many a time, usually in games that last more than nine innings.
Keith jinxes Dillon Gee’s bid to become the second pitcher in Mets history to throw a no-hitter.
Keith shares his thoughts on the distinctive hairstyle.
Look like a ballplayer!
In this two-part clip, Keith criticizes players who don’t wear their hats straight and the commissioner’s office for its latest "genius move."
What’s there to laugh about?!
Excessive and unwarranted celebration is on the long list of things of which Hernandez disapproves.
Mazz’s tight pants
Keith admires Lee Mazzilli’s sense of style.
A workplace injury
Keith suffers a hamstring cramp during a Mets-Pirates broadcast. Luckily, the injury isn’t serious enough to warrant a DL stint.
Pie in the face
Keith is not a fan of the pie-in-the-face method of celebrating walk-off wins. As ringleader Justin Turner performs his duty, Keith can be heard muttering in the background.
Not quite ready
As the camera pans up to the booth, Keith is caught off-guard and mid-bite. Gary struggles to contain his laughter.
The bearer of gifts
Like Mansa Musa giving gold to his people, Hernandez dispenses Tootsie Pops to the Mets faithful.
Keith the weatherman
Keith gives the weather forecast, and is amused by a Twitter handle that appears on the screen.
Keith the parking attendant
Keith leaves the booth to greet fans as they drive into the Citi Field parking lot. Many have great reactions when they realize who their parking attendant is. In one encounter, Keith is incredulous that a woman is driving the car while her husband sits in the passenger seat.
Gary and Keith explore the etymology of the word "bae." Their research leads them to an obscure Danish translation.
Keith Hernandez puts ketchup on his hot dogs
Keith is confused by the infamous Hunter Pence signs. He then tells us how he dresses his hot dogs.
Did Keith drop an f-bomb?
Gary and Keith are enraged over an umpire challenge. At the end of the clip, it sounds like Keith utters one of George Carlin’s seven words you can never say on television. What’s odd is that nobody seemed to notice it at the time. Is the clip doctored? Did Keith really get away with it? The mystery lives on…
What a rock head!
This multi-part clip includes scathing criticism of various players and trainers, as well as some Three Stooges commentary.
No play for Mr. Gray
Keith’s been in a lot of commercials, but his most famous are those in which he appears alongside Walt "Clyde" Frazier promoting Just For Men hair coloring product. Here’s the classic commercial, along with three more recent incarnations.
He's Keith Hernandez
Just for good measure, we’ll close with the iconic scene from the Seinfeld episode that’s carried Hernandez’s legacy beyond his playing days and beyond the borders of New York and St. Louis. It nicely encapsulates the Keith Hernandez experience. He speaks his mind, enjoys life, and gets away with things that most others wouldn’t. Because he’s Keith Hernandez.