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Keith Hernandez's greatest hits

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We present some of the most colorful, funny, and playfully offensive moments from our favorite mustachioed color commentator.

Spring training games are just around the corner, and that means the return of Mets baseball. And the return of Mets baseball means the return of Keith Hernandez, who recently signed a contract extension with SNY.

To celebrate the Mets legend’s return to the booth, let’s revisit some of his most colorful, funny, and playfully offensive moments. He’s obviously had many more than those listed here. That said, we’ve been able to put together a pretty good list of those that made their way to the Internet. Enjoy!

He wasn’t talking about the hot dog

As Gary and Keith discuss the $25 "D-Bat" corn dogs sold at Chase Field, Keith’s eyes drift elsewhere.

Opening up some eyebrows

Keith has a Freudian slip involving Josh Satin and his thick, luscious eyebrows. For the 25 seconds after that, the booth goes silent, except for the laughter and chatter you can hear faintly in the background.

Bob Davidson’s sack

With an assist from Ron, Keith engages in some good old-fashioned teenage humor involving the male anatomy. This will become somewhat of a theme here.

Ernie Hays and his organ

Keith relays "an old Cardinal joke" involving the team’s former organist.

The wrong workout program

Gary and Keith marvel at a well-built man’s inability to open a water bottle. No Keith moment would be complete without a mildly sexist remark at the end, from which Gary attempts to save him.

Not intended for air

In this underrated gem, Hernandez makes a sarcastic remark about the Mets and their fans during the dark days of August 2011. Unfortunately for him, the mics weren’t supposed to catch the comment. Fortunately for us, they did.

Forget the infield

Keith gets stuck trying to pronounce Peter Bourjos’s name, throwing off his rundown of the Cardinals’ defense.

Only in San Francisco…

A security guard at AT&T Park finds himself in the middle of the action. Keith doesn’t understand what he's doing on the field.

Asleep at the switch

Keith is known to get impatient with extra-inning games. As a 2010 Mets-Giants game enters extra frames, Keith uses the opportunity to get some shut-eye.

Stretch break

In another extra-inning affair, Keith gets up to stretch his legs. These extra-inning games seem to take a toll on him.

Hernandez channels Zappa

Keith quotes lyrics to describe his feelings as a Mets-Marlins game enters the 11th inning.

The groan

It’s a sound we’ve heard many a time, usually in games that last more than nine innings.

The jinx

Keith jinxes Dillon Gee’s bid to become the second pitcher in Mets history to throw a no-hitter.

The mohawk

Keith shares his thoughts on the distinctive hairstyle.

Look like a ballplayer!

In this two-part clip, Keith criticizes players who don’t wear their hats straight and the commissioner’s office for its latest "genius move."

What’s there to laugh about?!

Excessive and unwarranted celebration is on the long list of things of which Hernandez disapproves.

Mazz’s tight pants

Keith admires Lee Mazzilli’s sense of style.

A workplace injury

Keith suffers a hamstring cramp during a Mets-Pirates broadcast. Luckily, the injury isn’t serious enough to warrant a DL stint.

Pie in the face

Keith is not a fan of the pie-in-the-face method of celebrating walk-off wins. As ringleader Justin Turner performs his duty, Keith can be heard muttering in the background.

Not quite ready

As the camera pans up to the booth, Keith is caught off-guard and mid-bite. Gary struggles to contain his laughter.

The bearer of gifts

Like Mansa Musa giving gold to his people, Hernandez dispenses Tootsie Pops to the Mets faithful.

Keith the weatherman

Keith gives the weather forecast, and is amused by a Twitter handle that appears on the screen.

Keith the parking attendant

Keith leaves the booth to greet fans as they drive into the Citi Field parking lot. Many have great reactions when they realize who their parking attendant is. In one encounter, Keith is incredulous that a woman is driving the car while her husband sits in the passenger seat.

Say bae

Gary and Keith explore the etymology of the word "bae." Their research leads them to an obscure Danish translation.

Keith Hernandez puts ketchup on his hot dogs

Keith is confused by the infamous Hunter Pence signs. He then tells us how he dresses his hot dogs.

Did Keith drop an f-bomb?

Gary and Keith are enraged over an umpire challenge. At the end of the clip, it sounds like Keith utters one of George Carlin’s seven words you can never say on television. What’s odd is that nobody seemed to notice it at the time. Is the clip doctored? Did Keith really get away with it? The mystery lives on…

What a rock head!

This multi-part clip includes scathing criticism of various players and trainers, as well as some Three Stooges commentary.

No play for Mr. Gray

Keith’s been in a lot of commercials, but his most famous are those in which he appears alongside Walt "Clyde" Frazier promoting Just For Men hair coloring product. Here’s the classic commercial, along with three more recent incarnations.

He's Keith Hernandez

Just for good measure, we’ll close with the iconic scene from the Seinfeld episode that’s carried Hernandez’s legacy beyond his playing days and beyond the borders of New York and St. Louis. It nicely encapsulates the Keith Hernandez experience. He speaks his mind, enjoys life, and gets away with things that most others wouldn’t. Because he’s Keith Hernandez.